In the four days since my mother and I visited her brother Joe in the rehab facility, we attended a funeral for the wife of her oldest cousin, and had a short day of shopping and eating before I took her to the train station for the 5-hour trip home, and I had two days to think about the visit.
I'm going to have to get used to going to funerals, I think. There's just no other way to keep or make contact with the relatives that are more distant that 1st cousin. I think I must have met 4 or 5 second cousins at this one that I'd never heard of before. All were interested in the genealogy project, some had even made a stab at their own research at some time. For most of them, they're more interested in their origins than their parents or grandparents were. Mom introduced me to these people, but there will come a time when I'll have to go alone. I wonder how a family I don't personally know will react to someone like me turning up at a funeral? What do you say?
The next morning, I found mom cleaning my bathroom. I went to the kitchen and started coffee and toasted some scones. As we had breakfast, mom laughed as she told me about waking up there, in my apartment, and for a minute or two not knowing where she was, being worried about where to find the bathroom when she needed it, which is often. I worry about things like that because she seems disoriented for short periods more and more often, but I also wonder about being over-concerned, and about whether my obvious frustration with her only makes her more flustered.
The long-term care insurance information package came yesterday, but I only had time to look at it today. They don't cover parents of employees, but it was useful to see the premium rates for people around their age. It appears that a 75 year old would pay nearly $500 per month for a plan that would provide $300,000 worth of benefits over a 5-year period limit. My parents are nearing 77. I am concerned that they will both need care eventually, my father before my mother. Is $500+ a month now better than serious financial hardship in a few years? Probably, yes. But who the hell has an extra $500 a month?
