An unexpected visit

Mom lost another friend yesterday. Her cousin's wife Claire, who died from bone cancer. I met Claire at another funeral, for another of mom's cousins, almost 2 years ago to the day. We talked about travel, genealogy, old maps, and ebay. I liked her, and had hopes we'd get to talk again.

Claire was married to mom's oldest cousin. He struck me as sarcastic when I met him, but so many of this gang is sarcastic, I never know how seriously to take him. He stonewalled nearly every question I had for him related to genealogy. At the time, I assumed he was monumentally disinterested. Now I can see he probably was very occupied with his wife's illness.

So, mom is taking the train up here tomorrow, the funeral will be the day after. We'll have a little time to do a bit of visiting ourselves, and I can drive her around to see her brother, who is very ill.

You would think she'd be saddened by all these deaths and troubles, yet she's really very matter-of-fact. It doesn't surprise me at all, to outward appearances, her attitude towards these kinds of things has always seemed sympathetic, caring but distant, as though these deaths were a routine of life. There isn't the sense that she feels the gravity or finality of it. I suppose that may be due to her religious beliefs, some personal version of the afterlife of Catholic doctrine. Or perhaps it's not that at all--maybe she just denies it, pretends it's not what it is.

I think about how we'll be when her own time comes. A little too much, too.